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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/25200253">Nine Delivery Boys</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/verymerrysioux/pseuds/verymerrysioux'>verymerrysioux</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Postman!Warriors [4]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>The Legend of Zelda &amp; Related Fandoms, The Legend of Zelda: Hyrule Warriors</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Crack Treated Seriously, Friendship, Gen, Linked Universe (Legend of Zelda), Postman!Warriors, mailman!Link, postman!Link</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-07-11</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-07-11</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-18 04:40:30</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>2,805</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/25200253</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/verymerrysioux/pseuds/verymerrysioux</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>A glimpse of the Links on their first day as postmen.</p><p>
  <a href="https://linkeduniverse.tumblr.com/">Based on the Linked Universe AU.</a>
</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Postman!Warriors [4]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/1807576</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>22</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>141</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Nine Delivery Boys</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Just some shenanigans from the Links and musings from an old man.</p><p>No beta, I die like the turncoats in Hyrule Warriors.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>It's been months since he's been able to roam around the post office and just survey. </p><p>With the war both increasing their tasks and depleting their workforce, nobody has the luxury of being assigned one duty. The rare few would be Zomo, who may as well have a badge that says "War Postman" for being the constant messenger to the army, and Dungo, who's uncanny ability to travel through the portals with ease makes interdimensional deliveries faster.</p><p>With the war of eras being over, Zomo has some time to squeeze in other tasks, but most are for his new promotion.</p><p>The rest have to do multiple duties at once. Not even him, the postmaster of Fields branch, is exempt. He's often in desk duty so that the others could focus on shaving off the always growing backlog of letters in their office. The lobby desk may as well be his office for most of the week, lugging his paperwork and finishing it during downtime.</p><p>Now it's different. Their Link is back, and with him are eight boys willing to work as postmen. Eight boys who carry the same warm aura they all felt with Link. Kind and passionate in their own way. </p><p>Grumble all they like, it's clear for anyone who's lived in this era that they lack the utter disdain shown at postmen.</p><p>They stay to help, and it's a lot more than many would have done.</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>One of Link’s boys complains about the uniform. </p><p>Elias finds him ranting about it with Cor (despite his size, he's one of the gentler postmen, he wouldn't be surprised that he was dragged because he couldn't say no) in the small pantry they have.</p><p>Hardly a surprise. The uniform has been a bane of many eyes for centuries, how it still persists to this day may as well be by the will of some sadistic god. </p><p>The kid goes off about "Hytopia standards", waving a spare shirt around like he couldn't believe it existed. </p><p>"None of them are reinforced with <em> any </em> magic," he says in disgust. "Not even those charms that keep the cloth stain-free! This is white!" More persistent waving ensues,  as if shaking it enough would strangle the ugly out of it. " <em> White! </em> And your job makes you run around bumfuck everywhere!"</p><p>"Not much funding to enchant our uniforms," Cor explains, shrugging.</p><p>The kid gapes. "Not much-?!" He closes his eyes and takes a slow breath. "No, you know what? Fuck this." He slaps the shirt on the table. "I'm teaching you to anti-stain your fucking white uniforms, even the poorest dumbass can do this."</p><p>Din, that kid loves to swear.</p><p>"Er…" Cor looks down at the abused shirt warily. "Now?"</p><p>"No, later, when the drama queen will pull us into some bullshit again-<em> yes, now. </em>" The kid's eyes glow with magic and determination. "Got any preference? I know the Hyrulean way and the Hytopian way."</p><p>Cor stares. "I have no idea what that means."</p><p>"How's your music skill?"</p><p>"Uh, I know the notes?" Cor tries, increasingly worried over the twitching the kid's eye is doing. "Like do, re, mi?"</p><p>Cor may as well have said he was going to break the kid’s arms with the look he’s giving him. "... Hytopian way it is," the kid sighs. </p><p>Elias shakes his head and leaves the pantry, letting the two enjoy their break. </p><p>He hears one last angry rambling from the kid .</p><p>"<em> No funding </em>, my ass. The fuck kind of rupoor-cursed princess does your Hyrule have?"</p><p>Zomo would like him.</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>Two of Link’s boys also complain about the uniform. </p><p>Elias finds both of them sitting on the grass, waiting for Link to finish setting up the track for the beep test. </p><p>"I don’t think this does much for mobility, no matter what Warriors says," the kid with curly brown hair admits, pulling down the shirt. "If we go by that logic, why not just run around in your underwear? Or naked?"</p><p>The kid with long blond hair nods. "I've ran around with just briefs before," he says in a far too solemn tone. "Doesn't make much difference. And the chill or sunburn isn't worth it."</p><p>There are many reasons as to why they don't run around naked, and the last thing Elias would say is the <em> physical effects </em>.</p><p>"Shaving off time means nothing if your limbs are vulnerable," the brown-haired kid agrees. "Even a scratch can be deadly. What if you get infected? Or poisoned? That's days of recovery." He wrinkles his nose. "Can you imagine wandering in the woods with so much skin exposed?"</p><p>"Ugh, or a jungle." The blond kid shivers. "The insects sticking to you and <em> biting </em>."</p><p>"Goddess, yeah, remember that time Sky got sick from that bug bite? We were littered with bites and nothing happened to us, but Sky had a fever for days."</p><p>"Never had I been so glad I stocked on fairy tonics."</p><p>He leaves, making a mental note to do check-ups on any postmen that went on portal duty these past few weeks.</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>The wolf doesn't complain about the uniform. He's a wolf, they don't have uniforms for wolves. And even if the wolf complained, Elias doubts he'd understand it.</p><p>"Our Link still found a way, huh?" He muses, looking at the mini postman hat perched on the wolf's head. "It's rather cute on you, considering you're a large wolf."</p><p>The wolf cracks one eye and gives him a huff, ears twitching in irritation. From what he heard, he's been napping in the lobby ever since an irate customer marched in and screamed at Marc, who had been unfortunate enough to be the only postman there.</p><p>The wolf only had to stand up and growl for the customer to keep their temper and voice down.</p><p>"You're all such an odd bunch," he comments, giving the wolf a quick pat. He's seen enough Twili to suspect who the wolf is, and he's amused that someone would go through such lengths to avoid being a postman.</p><p>Yet still stay here, mini postman hat and all.</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>He finds the youngest of Link’s boys teaching their resident newbie how to sort the mail. </p><p>Though calling it sorting is a very generous description.</p><p>"Once you get the arm movement down, the tricky part is to pinpoint where the letter needs to go," the kid explains, throwing one letter to the uppermost box with ease. "Because if you throw it in the wrong section, you're gonna have to stop to pick it up, and that will throw off your rhythm."</p><p>"Why do I need to throw it?" Newbie asks, baffled. He wonders the same thing. "What's wrong with the usual way we do it?"</p><p>The kid sniffs and brings up one finger. "Well, for one: it's slow. You're already understaffed as it is, you need speed to keep up with the load." He brings a second one. "Two, it's slow <em> and </em> boring. That combination is asking for a slog of mistakes. I bet you’ve gone cross-eyed after reading too many of these, huh?”</p><p>Newbie nods.</p><p>The kid grins and brings up a third finger. “That brings us to the last: you don't need to read the whole address to sort them, not in this stage,” he says. “Just look at the envelope's traits and match it with what you know."</p><p>The kid picks up a letter and turns it side to side. "This is from Four's time." He points at the borders decorating the envelope. "See the clovers? That's unique in his era." He throws them in the Era of Men box.</p><p>He picks up another one. "And this is Sky's, the stamps all have bird motifs on them." That one is flung to the Early Hyrule box.</p><p>He picks another and stares at it. "... I have no idea where this is from."</p><p>Newbie takes it. "Lorule," he declares, giving it back. "Their letters always have an upside-down Triforce, or a broken one." He snickers. "Sometimes they have stamps that have someone licking the Triforce or pooping on it."</p><p>Ah, Lorule, a walking heart attack for any devout follower of the golden three.</p><p>"Huh, go off, I guess." The kid flicks the letter to the Lorule box. "Wanna try your hand at it?"</p><p>"Do I have a choice?"</p><p>The kid laughs. "Nope!"</p><p>He stays a bit, being quiet so as not to interrupt them. The kid is deadly accurate, sorting twenty five letters in approximately thirty seconds. Impressive.</p><p>"You know," Newbie starts, throwing letters at the cubicles. His throws were slower and wobblier than the kid's, but he's making decent progress in his pile. "I didn't believe there was anyone who loved being a postman. Not even when everybody kept saying how Link was passionate about it."</p><p>"Yeah, it's kinda weird," the kid agrees. "I would have thought his dream job would be less for-"</p><p>"-useless good-for-nothings and layabouts," Newbie finishes, nodding. "I get yo-"</p><p>"Uh, what?" The kid cuts him off, incredulous. "No, I-<em> no? </em>" His face scrunches up in an expression as if he's sucking a lemon and witnessing two dodongos fornicate right before his eyes. "I meant for dull people!” He looks away and mutters, “No offense to the Rito.”</p><p>Newbie blinks.</p><p>“I'd react the same if Tetra told me she's going to quit being a pirate and build her own lobster farm or something,” the kid explains, now the one sporting a baffled look. “Delivering letters is boring, but I wouldn’t call the ones doing it useless and lazy. What brought that on?”</p><p>"Everybody thinks it," Newbie says, the last word lilting high to give it a hesitant and confused tone. "Being a postman is the lowest of the low, you know?"</p><p>"I don't? That's why I'm asking?" The kid's expression has transcended to two dodongos and a very touchy manhandla. "Did a postman drown your kingdom?"</p><p>"No?"</p><p>"Take over an island, then? Started kidnapping girls?" The kid punches Newbie on the arm. "Don't look at me like that! You're the one saying postmen are shitty, I want to know why!"</p><p>"They just are!" Newbie sputters, edging away in case he's punched again. "Being in the army is the highest prestige anyone can get, and being a postman is the lowest. We're too stupid for any craft and too weak to be a soldier."</p><p>Silence.</p><p>"Bullshit, Warriors is none of those," the kid says hotly. "And I don't think any of you are either, whoever told you that is shittier than these uniforms."</p><p>"Thanks?"</p><p>He leaves, letting them continue their sorting game.</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>The pantry is more crowded when he passes by it again. Peeking in, he sees Cor and two of Link’s boys looking at a postman sign on the table.</p><p>"I'm gonna have to agree with Legend," the smallest one hums, tapping the pole. "It's a walking-... running?" He shakes his head. "It's a running hazard. The wood's too brittle to last long, even if I carved runes on it."</p><p>"Fucking called it," Legend, the one who had been ranting about the uniform's lack of enchantments, says. "Why do you wear these? Don't tell me it's for speed because the wind resistance from that banner alone would shoot that down."</p><p>"It's a signal," Cor sighs. "Something to tell the army that we're not enemies. It was made during the second civil war when soldiers shot messengers by mistake."</p><p>The small one blinks. "Does it work?"</p><p>"Most of the time."</p><p>"Good to know the soldiers haven't changed in any era," Legend snorts. "Alright, so the glorified 'Don't Kill Me' sign stays, can we at least upgrade it to withstand a fucking butterknife?"</p><p>"It's not that bad," Cor says weakly.</p><p>Legend pulls out a knife from somewhere in that uniform, and stabs the pole firmly on the center.</p><p>A sharp crack echoes in the pantry.</p><p>"I'd ask why you have a butterknife with you, but you're not called our hoarder for nothing," the small one comments, looking at the snapped pole. "Right hand and without one of your power rings? The wood is flimsier than I thought."</p><p>"That's the mildest backhanded insult I've ever heard," Legend says. "Go fuck yourself, Four."</p><p>"Hard pass on that," the small one (Four is a peculiar nickname) states. He lifts one half of the broken pole. "It'd be a dirty fix but I could work with this."</p><p>"Got any ideas to improve their shitty uniform?"</p><p>"Wear pants? Something you never do?"</p><p>"Seriously, go fuck yourself."</p><p>Four snaps his fingers. "Wild's ore might come in handy after all!" He grins. "Even a shard of amber can give a layer of protection, some decent leather and a bit of metal and we could enchant your sandals and wrist bands just as well!"</p><p>What?</p><p>"You've already offered to improve the memorial," Cor protests (<em> what? </em>). "And you're volunteering as temps, we couldn't ask for more."</p><p>Four smiles. "I told you, the friend of my friend is also my friend." He puts down the pole. "And I'm a blacksmith, reinforcing your uniforms is no different from reinforcing armor and weapons."</p><p>"Don't be fooled, he forgot to mention the 'royal' before the blacksmith." Legend smirks as Four turns red. "Can't find anyone better to upgrade your shit."</p><p>Cor gapes.</p><p>"Apprentice," Four corrects, coughing and looking away. "Gramps still has a few things to teach me."</p><p>"Royal apprentice, then."</p><p>"Shut up."</p><p>"This is too much," Cor tries again.</p><p>Four tilts his head. "It's not," he says, dead serious. "I don’t live in a time of war, but even I know running around in this is risky. I can't ignore that."</p><p>"And I'm familiar with the shitty attitude of soldiers, especially if your reputation is smeared with dirty lies," Legend says darkly. "Better safe than sorry when you're in that den of rabid lions."</p><p>He leaves, not hearing the soft thanks Cor stammers out. He turns to a corner and bumps into Link, their Link.</p><p>"Oh, Elias," Link huffs. "Have you seen Legend? He escaped training."</p><p>He stares.</p><p>"Elias?"</p><p>He shakes his head and jerks a thumb. "At the pantry."</p><p>Link smiles and jogs away. "My thanks!" He calls out.</p><p>Moments later, shouts explode from the pantry.</p><p>"YOU BROKE OUR EQUIPMENT?!"</p><p>"FUCK YOU, IT'S FOR YOUR BENEFIT!"</p><p>He sighs.</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>He finds the rest of Link’s boys at the track, lounging under one of the trees. Marc is with them (and he hopes to all the goddesses he didn’t leave the wolf to man the desk).</p><p>All of them are huddled near a book.</p><p>"I'll either survive by some Hylia-given miracle or fail horribly," the kid declares, flipping a page and shaking his head in dismay. </p><p>"You'll fail," the scarred one says immediately. "Don't be fooled when you see Warriors use it, he was the definition of vertigo on the first try. And the second. And the third. And the succeeding ones after that."</p><p>The kid closes the book with a huff. "Thanks, old man," he says. "Glad to know you have my back."</p><p>"Anytime, Sky."</p><p>"That's so weird," Marc comments, blinking. "Hearing someone call you old man."</p><p>The scarred one chuckles. "Oh?"</p><p>Marc shakes his head. "I'm still wrapping my head on the fact that you're a hot piece of foxy man meat instead of the adorable little murder child I met months ago."</p><p>(For Farore’s sake, Marc.)</p><p>The kid, Sky, pales and turns a faint shade of green. "Never call him that."</p><p>"Adorable little murder child?"</p><p>"No, the other one." Sky shudders. "Also, what's with that? I get that you and Warriors met a long time ago, but why does everyone call you a murder child?"</p><p>The scarred one shrugs. "I was a child when I stumbled upon Warriors' era, it was in the middle of war. I fought some battles."</p><p>He holds back a snort. He's never met the brat that endeared all of the postmen, but he's heard enough stories about him. He was as deadly as he was tiny and cute. </p><p>"Some battles," Marc repeats, tone mocking. "You also led some troops, killed some monsters, and kicked some shins with your foot. You sure all of that was just some?”</p><p>The scarred one smiles. "I did more than just shin-kicking,” he admits, the smile gaining a sharper edge. “Though only to the traitors.”</p><p>A chill settles in their bones, not because of the cold wind and their skimpy uniforms.</p><p>"Has anyone told you that you're terrifying?" Sky asks.</p><p>"Rarely to my face."</p><p>He shakes his head and goes back inside, deeming his surveying done for today. Maybe he can finish his paperwork in peace back in his own office, where customers won’t interrupt him. With nine people he can trust to do a good job, if not better, even a week can make a huge impact in their branch.</p><p>An odd bunch indeed, no wonder Link gets along with them.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Yay, nay, or meh?</p></blockquote></div></div>
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